| Wedding Politics |
[Jul. 15th, 2005|09:43 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Silence....alll the better to brood in | ] |
It’s been a long time since I've made and entry these past few weeks have been tedious and busy. I am entering a wedding blitz.... I have been honoured by being asked to be the maid of honour at two weddings in this next year! (Oct-Oct) I'm sooo happy that my friends are with people they feel this connected to; too want to unite in marriage.
Being in weddings is a huge financial commitment. I was talking with one of the brides and was expressing my concern about the cost...you see she is getting married in Mexico or someplace like that so the odds are that the trip alone will cost $800 - $1500 plus spending money and a dress. I'm sooo excited to stand with my girls and am soo honoured to be asked to be the maid of honour. I'm also excited about the trip...I can't wait! But right now it just seems soo far outta reach considering my employment position. So the Mexico Bride is upset with me I find out thought the grape vine because I voiced my financial concerns.
Unfortunately I'm unemployed... right now its been my choice; as far as May was concerned I made a deal with my Mother that I would help around here; and the cleaning of this house took the whole month working almost eight hours a day.... I've been looking for work since. But do not want to work in a dead end kinda minimum wage job...I've taken those jobs in the past and they seem to hold me back from finding something in my field. My friends are here frustrated with me because I'm not working and they get offended when I cannot do something with them. They act as though I'm doing this to get attention or that I'm trying to be difficult or something to be honest I don’t' know why they get soo mad at me when I can't do something I'm the one suffering. I don't complain that I can't go, but when people push you have to pull out the old "well I can't go cause I have no cash". When I say I can't go out due to money it sucks for me.... I want to go out but this in an unfortunate side affect of my decision right now. I don't know if I'm making the right decisions regarding not getting a shitter job but I would hope my friends would talk to me instead of talking behind my back.
I've been there for my friends and supported them through tons of shit( and they me in many occasions) But I feel now that I'm being stabbed in the back. I thought of them as the best of the best. I feel as thought we're back in high school; and she isn't coming to me with her issues. I’m soo upset. I always tell my friends when I'm upset with them outta respect. I'm sad to say I don't get the same in return. |
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honchoyeti's journal
